Fooling Around

When she was lying in her bed with running thoughts in her mind..he was on the bed with a woman with running fingers.

I was nothing till I felt you on,

I lived in you, you were my home,

Till the time I tasted that I wasn’t the only known.

The lips which warmed me were not for me all alone,

The hands which touched me every now and then had traces of some unknown.

Puff was different this time,
It had the scent of lying.

Why? Is the word which kept ringing in my mind.

Did I do something vice which made you cross the line.

She-  HE is my story.

He- I am a man with stories.



I asked him to stay. But he didn’t listen, ready to go with his bags. “Just hold on” I pleaded, “Don’t go please”. 

“I have to Nia, you should have thought before doing all this to me”, he said with tears in his eyes. He pulled up and loaded the bags in his car. Tightened his seat belt while looking at me, but this time the eyes were filled of both anger and pain. He looked away and started his car. 

” Jye”,I shouted but he didn’t stop and all of sudden everything around me became blurry. I collapsed.

The next morning, when I opened my eyes I was in a room lying on bed surrounded by number of machines, glucose pipe injected in my hand and smell of floor wipped dettol. Yeah..right I was in hospital. Half an hour later a nurse came to my ward with a tray carrying a syringe and few tablets. 

“What happend to me??”, I asked impatiently.

” Nothing you just fainted.” She replied injecting the syringe in my left hand.

“Oh..yaa I know the reason that might be because of improper diet. Right? “, I confirmed.

“No mam you are two months pregnant”, she corrected.

” WHAT???”, I shouted  in distress. 

“Hey ..wait who got me here?”

“Your husband mam. He is waiting outside. Should I ask him to come in? We haven’t told him anything yet. He was busy in completing the formalities initially.”, she said.

“Yes and please don’t tell him about my pregnancy. I want to give him this good news myself”, I replied .

How is that possible? Oh god I got so busy in setting our new apartment that I didn’t realize that I missed missed my periods. 

She left and Abhay got in the room after five minutes .

“Hey sweetheart, how are you now?”, he asked with smile.

” Yaa, I am good now,it was just improper diet. Don’t worry”, I lied.

“No worries, I am here to take you home. All formalities are done. They’ll discharge you in an hour.” He said.


Hey wait did I tell you who is Abhay. No. Right? He is not my husband but would to be. :-/

To be continued ..


Catastrophic love

Love is not red all the time.. It becomes dark when it comes on its on condition against the will of divine.

In the coldest of the places, where the fire flies survive.

Under the warmth of the moon my naked soul lies.

Carefree and full of life, rejuvinated by your only sight.

I can feel the flush without touching you. Can you hear the speed of my blood rushing through ??

Such an intimate moment is passing by.. I want to hold it still till you in real come by my side.

Once you are here i’ll erode you whole.. Passing in out you exploring you all.

Come to black and leave the light..remove the peel of goodness and love me with your darker side.

I’ll lock your soul and make the body pass, to have you forever..forever till the last.

What a brutal selfish love is mine..I feel pity for the soul who remained unaware of glitterish love and eyes soothing shine.

I wish I wish  

I could have gained you during my life.

This failure might have felt a bit less painful then this suffering time.



More than just a teenager suffering 

I love you.

I love you soo much. Each time I wrote something, it was for you. But posting the letter to your place was as easy as catching a fly with one hand. Wrote to make you realize my ache due to the prick you made inside my heart. I have to live with that throughout my life now. It might sound funny but I am no more that small girl whom you could trick and play with your talks. I am grown up now. Grown up enough to understand my emotions. Emotions for you. I am so tired of crushing my love. I hope you understand my suffering once in your life just once. I want you too feel the rate of my pulse in your veins someDAY. I knew that I was never good enough for you to carry on further so keeping this a secret was the only option but you were all I had in last. Just you. Trust me I would never blame you for what I did to myself. It was never your fault. Being a teenager its hard to figure out what is right and what is wrong. But now I am smart enough to understand the life. 

Some feelings are so quite that they can’t be expressed. I had something for you which I know you would have never felt for me. An unknown onesided connection was formed between us two . Your excitments made my heart pump faster. Each time I have to gulp back the fire to catch breath for my survival. The cardiac wanted to pop out of my chest. Your sorrows made my heart sink like I am hollow from inside. Though you never shared your pain but I felt every bit of it by just looking at your face. You hurt me many times. I know this is strange to read as you don’t even know my name but I won’t reveal it now as its too late. Seeing you with someone else gave me stabs everytime. This is what love is all about living with the shadows by letting the things go forward. My life is taking a blind turn now and I am not allowed to make a choice because someone else did it for me. I am into hell where I have to pull through. But no matters what you own my spirit now and I’ll love you till my last breath. 

Anonymous ❤


My Stranger 

I want to be alone. Shiver was going down my body making my skin aroused. I felt static under the dermis. Deflate I collected and covered myself with a sheet. I want to be alone. The strangest part was that the room was deserted. No one except me was there. I felt like crying..hard. 

It wasn’t for the first time. I felt this many a times. I love you. He loves you too. Really? But am I right for him. Feelings were shedding me like clouds. Felt but can’t be intensified. I wanted some stranger not him to hold me. Hold me tight in his arms. Settle down the ocean of feelings which was going inside me like a tornado. 

Why a stranger? 

He will not judge me by my past or my future. He’ll be my moment. Moment which I want to live without any stipulation. With no fear of judging or being judged. In the moment I’ll unloose myself into him without any promises. With the time growing older I’ll let the moment pass by with no intentions of holding it on like water. I want it to slip out of my fingers unknowingly. 

But that doesn’t mean i don’t love him – said my heart ❤

– bhawana



He clutched my hand and pressed me towards the wall. His fingers started working on my bare hand from the tip to the shoulder; slowly without losing eye contact. Reaching the neck he pulled my hair string down and planted a kiss on it. Gentle but intimidating. Muddled how to react I stood queit. Sweat started outlining my eyebrows and body was quivering, which I tried hard to be unnoticed. He brought his mouth closer to mine. Clentched me hard from the back with one hand and placed another on my cheek. His breath was beating my face now. Jesus, he is about to kiss me should I stop him or give myself into him. I closed my eyes ready to taste him.

Jenny.. all of sudden I heard my name in a furious intone and in reflex my eyes opened up. 

“Where the hell is your alarm clock??”

 “May be under those heap of clothes on the chair”, I signalled. About to give myself in the bed my mind alerted. Hey wait!! Was that a dream? Wtf, it was a dream, after analysing the whole situation in my head I found Grase standing infront of me with folded hands and blood cold eyes. Shit, we were supposed to be preparing for the exibition right now.

” My mistake, give me few minutes and I’ll be right here” I said. I rushed towards the rest room. I put on my best clothes with light make up and exactly after 20 minutes I was ready for the show. We locked our apartment and left for the art exhibition.

To be continued ..



 I waited for you ..

I waited for you till the end.      

Each time your mere gaze, placed my soul on  blaze.                

The thoughts of claiming you mine,always made my eyes shine.                        

I waited for you .. 

I waited for you till the end.                           

When your fingers touched my fingers,they blend together so fine. 

When it reaches the moment of rupture, its hard to find sole separation line.

I waited for you..                                 

I waited for you till the end.

Promises were seaseed to me,each with a veracious blink.             

My name in your amicable intone, made my heart sink.    

I waited for you..                                 

I waited for you till the end.

Time flew like a sunday bird, left with traces on the nature .          

Past second  you were here,I tried to hold when you disappeared.                                         

I searched under the bed, behind the curtain,but you were no where.                       

At last when I gander inside my heart, found you winking deep down there.

I waited for you..                              

I waited for you till MY END.

                                         -bhawana ❤