One step closer

“And then I wondered whether it was our starting or end”

The leaves beacame all cracky and pale, scattered everywhere some near and some away from their branches. Sun lost its usual brightness and the sky started being more white. The nights were cold. It was 3 in the morning when my phone rang.

………………………………………………………………………

“Nibedita”, an unknown voice called my name.

“Yes”. I replied pulling myself upwards.

“Your friend Anurag is in ICU. He has been hit by a car. Your number was on the speed dial so we called you. Can you make to the hospital right now??”

“I’ll be there”

I held my head between the kness snatching hair. What did I do. Throwing the quilt away she reached for the car keys on the table. Locking her seat-belt, she was on her way in no time.

“I am the one to be blamed for his condition. I should have answered his calls. What if something happens to him? Where will I go? Anurag and Nibedita were in a relationship from last one year. Deep in love with each other. But just a guilt-ridden night and nothing was same. Anurag found Nibedita kissing his best friend in the middle of the hall at Christmas eve. She was all drunk and out of senses. But as Anurag moved to drift them apart, reality hit her. She followed him but he didn’t look back. Anurag walked off without saying a single word. Nibedita tried calling him but when every call went unanswered she decided of not bothering him anylonger.

From last five days Anurag was continuously trying to get in touch with her but she did not want him to go through all the pain again. Because her voice and presence might give him flashbacks, dragging him in misery all over again.

She found herself standing outside the ICU. The doctors were still in there operting his body. The white of my eyes turned red and tears were a part of me. I got seated fishing my phone out of pocket. I logged in my gmail account and started swiping our old pictures. My dripping eyes made his beautiful face all wet and unclear. There were pictures of us holding hands, me running after him and he pulling me up in his arms.

After a long wait of 4 hours and 17 minutes the doctor and his team finally left the ward. “He got his right leg twisted and some injuries in head. Though he is out of danger now. You’ll be allowed to meet him once we shift him into normal ward”, the doctor said.

He was still unconscious by the time I entered the room. His hands were all bruised with drips in them. Leg got plastered and head drapped in a white bandage with hairs chopped short. Lips parted and swollen. Left cheek had a major sever. I stood next to him taking his lifeless hands in mine carefully. ” I don’t know whether you’ll ever forgive me for what I did to you. I am such a fool who thought that cutting of connections will make your life easy. I am sorry for making you go through all this. I am the one who should be lying here not you. I am so sorry. I don’t know whether I have the right to ask you or not but can you please forgive me. Watching you like this is killing me. Please open your eyes and talk to me. I was in tears when the doctor asked me to leave as they wanted to perform some tests.

I left the room.

About half an hour later when Anurag opened his eyes the nurse asked me in. I slowly closed the door behind me, took a deep breath and rubbed the tears off.

“Hi”, I said stammering. He asked me to sit on the stool by patting his hand on the bed slowly. “What do you think you were doing? Was this your plan of hurting me by hurting yourself? ” I don’t know when all my tears turned into anger.”You are such a loser. I hate you Anurag. I hate you. You are nothing but a coward soul who can’t handle his problems. I will never forgive you for this”, my eyes were watery all again. ” I am sorry for all what happened. I didn’t have the strength to face you. Neither my mistake was small enough to be justified. But I really don’t think I deserve to be a part of your life so I stopped answering your calls. And before I lose control over my feelings its better I go. I turned my back to leave.

“But I love you”,he said in his puppy like voice. ” And I need you. All I wanted was some time to clear my mind. I never stopped loving you and nothing can stop me from loving you. You are a part of me. I love you so much”.

I turned towards him. I wanted to shout and tell him and everyone around that I loved him too. I loved him like a loon. But words didn’t come out of me like they lost their path. So I slowly moved towards him and bought my face closer to his and in no time I was kissing him. And he kissed me back.

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